


Dear Fanfiction

by SpottedM15



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3273809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpottedM15/pseuds/SpottedM15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The character have options to you know</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tom Riddle

Dear Fan fiction,

I will never, never, EVER fall in love with HARRY POTTER!

I will kill you all, Tom Riddle


	2. Boy Wonder

Dear readers,

Look do me a huge favor and stop making me a major slut!! I am paired with everyone, even DUMBLEDORE. That is just nasty. I feel a little used, and Draco doesn't like it.

From Harry Potter  


	3. Paws Off!

Dear readers,

**Harry is mine**

Paws off!

Sincerely your worst nightmare, 

Draco Malfoy 


	4. I'm not EVIL!

Dear Readers, 

I would never betray Harry like you seem to think I would. He is like a second son to me! I would never try to manipulate him for his money and I just want whats best for him.

I am not EVIL I promise!!!! I would appreciate if I would not be depicted as such.

From an upset Molly Weasley  


	5. Twincest

_Dear Reader,_

**Listen, don't get me wrong we are thrilled that you think that we are to sexy for anyone besides each other**

_But you seem to for get that we are brother, as in same blood, as in incest_

**So thank you for your flattering images of use having sex But do us a favor**

_STOP!!!!_

Thanks, **Fred** and _George_


	6. Married Bliss

Dear Readers,

Look, i love that fact that everyone seems to put me with Harry. I'm thrilled, except for the fact that I am a lot older then he is and i'm not a pedo. Two he is like a brother and i'm not in an incest, and three I am in LOVE with my wife. Super in life. 

Thanks folks, I am definitely feeling the love but tone the love down,

Bill Weasley 


	7. I am a MAN

Dear Readers,

I want you know that the honest fact is that it is impossible, I repeat **impossible** for a man to have a baby. We can adopt not give birth. Thank you for playing, have a great day, good bye.

From Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, and every other man in existence! 


	8. Lovegood

Hello all!

I just want to thank you for all the lovely stories about me I have read so far. I had no idea I was so flexible!

With love, Luna


	9. Wolfstar

Dear Readers,  
So I am happy to say that I am dating Remus Lupin.....  
Just kidding!!! HAHAHA You see the problem with that is that he is a GUY!! Not that there is anything wrong with that, one time at Hogwarts I was... Never mind! The point is it is never happening, ever.   
With love from the other side, Padfoot


	10. Snarry

Dear Readers,

I am a teacher and would never endanger that by sleeping with one of my students. And I would not sleep with Potter if someone put a wand to my head and said the death curse. I would not sleep with Potter if a group of centaurs threatened to kill me, i would not if the dark lord himself told me to!!!  
  


You disgusting people,

Professor Snape


	11. Prat

Dear readers, 

I left all my prattyness behind at the battle at Hogwarts. I love my family and would never betray them again.

Percy

P.S Vote Percy for Minster of Magic 


	12. Damn Rita!!!

Dear all readers,

I am sure you have read Miss. Rita Skeeters book and I feel I must inform you, my nose is not THAT big!! Thank you for your time.

From beyond the grave,

Albus Dumbledore


	13. Weird

Dear Readers,  
So here it goes, my life depends on your kinky stories!! Please oh please keep writing, my soul depends on it.  
Love Lavender Brown


	14. Music

Dear Readers, 

I am impressed with the amount of fan made music. In fact the ones making fun of Potter and the others are great. However I am disappointed that you felt a need to get involved in my personal life. IF I EVER FIND OUT WHO WROTE THAT SONG THEY WILL BE WASHING CAULDRONS TILL THEN ARE 17!!! AM I UNDERSTOOD.

Severus Snape


	15. Crazy

Dear Mudbloods,  
I am not crazy, or even close to being so. I just hate all you inferior beings and hope you die in hell and burn for what you have done to my master. Not crazy at all.  
Bellatrix


	16. Crossovers?

Dear Readers,  
Hello! So I get that you guys are creative and all but I hate to inform you that the avengers, the doctor, the lord of the rings characters, and any other weird pairing you can think of does not exists. That would be weird! So stop pair us all with make believe. 

Thank you!  
Hermione


End file.
